Holy Pride Guide, bow down!

It's Seattle Pride next weekend.... you DID know that right? I know this rain-cave we've been stuck in is confusing, but it's summer I swear! Just look at the weather in other cities!

Because Pride is different per city, but overall... you know.. kind of predictable right? Thousands of topless people all munching together and munching each other. There's a big parade, a bunch of packed bars, street drinking... everything gets kind of... sticky... and it usually takes a good four to five days before you wake up from it and show up to work explaining the loss of your cat, or your sudden case of mono, any excuse besides the truth of your giant hangover. And then you move on.

Well this year, Seattle says NO to your generic once a year stooper, and gives you MORE. Our revolutionary queer scene is out, about, and ready to stiletto stomp you directly in your dilated eyeballs, and give you a full body experience not even twenty tequila shots can make you forget*.

(*Not responsible for actual tequila-induced memory loss)

Interested? Well then hit print and take this along as your Seattle Pride Zoo Map! Worry less, have more fun, get more glittered.


Retro Beach Social Pride Kick-Off at The Eagle!

Hey kiddies! It's summer outside and hot in here, its a retro beach party at the Seattle Eagle! Grab your skivvies and come twist the er.... afternoon away to a bevy of rare and retro rock spun by
DJ Edward Jazz Hands
DJ Rockin' Rollita!

$5 all day is the name of the game but show us your best swim gear and get $1 off (clothes check provided!)

All good things come and must go! Wave goodbye to the sunshine with a special sunset live band performance by Seattle beach boys and one girl, also known as the..
Secret Shoppers!

Slick that pompadour, lose the slacks and cha cha on down! It's going to be neat!

When the moon rises... it starts..
Disco Dance Party!

Just as the sun crests behind the slopes, the disco balls hit their brightest as Freddy King of Pants and Nark shake the sand out of your skivvies and heat up the dance floor!

This heat-seeking laser controlled dance party stops only once to let loose Richard Kennedy, fresh in from New York, who is going to let out the beats and sing you into pieces in this very special live performance!

Freddy King of Pants

Live Performer:
Richard Kennedy (NY)

Come fondle our beach balls! (but not our go-go dancers... okay maybe a little) Don't miss out and kick off Pride right! (sweaty, mostly naked and grinding with other men!)

Retro Beach Social and Disco
At The Eagle
314 E. Pike
3pm-2am (3pm-9pm Retro Rock n Roll, Secret Shoppers) (9pm-2am Disco Dance, Richard Kennedy)
$5 All day and night, $1 off in swimsuits/underwear!
(clothes check provided)


Discotheque at Rebar!

Qulture Qreative (Hard Times, Hot Mess) and Fringe Presents (Fringe, Snackhole) team up to bring a Queer alternative to Seattle’s Gay Pride Weekend lineup! Partygoers are in for a live visualgasm, retina raping fuckfest, queerfreak go-go experience that is clinically proven to make you cum! Dress to express! The more effort you put into your outfit, the less you’ll have to shell out to get in the door!

DJ Lineup:
LA Kendall: (Qulture Qreative/Hard Times) This lady has her fingers in so many pies it’s really quite amazing that she has a limb left to DJ with! With a career that spans nearly 2 decades, L.A. Kendall has been involved in so many facets of music, nightlife and the queer community, and her DJ sets reflect that. Funky House, Electro, Disco, ‘80’s, Hip Hop…it’s all in there! With her business partner, David “D” Richey, she most recently heads up the Multi-Poly-Omni art experiment turned ‘zine quarterly that is Hard Times. She is also ½ of the hot new girl group, Luxury A.K. (with Adra Boo).

NARK: Through his photos, he has captured and shaped this most formative time in Seattle’s nightlife. His club nights are the talk of the town. His DJ sets are diverse and progressive with just the right touch of retro. Meet Kevin Kauer, AKA Nark. This guy is on fire! Check him out at narkmagazine.blogspot.com!

DJ Skiddle (C89.5): DJ Skiddle has been refining his music-mixing skills over the past ten years, but has only been showing Seattle what those skills are for the last two years. Currently, you can hear his music in bars and clubs across Seattle, specifically Capitol Hill, and every Monday on C89.5 FM's "Drive at 5". Skiddle's music spans many decades from the 60's through today, but his focus is on Mainstream Club, Pop, House, and Electro. He's played at Neighbours, Rebar, Chapel, Eagle, Last Supper Club, and various local art and fundraising events.

Riff-Raff: (Leschi Lounge/AntiGravity Music/Seattle) With a passion for fresh beats and obsession to share them with the world, Reverend Riff-Raff was born to make music. In 2005, Riff-Raff attended a house party at the Leschi Lounge - a progressive after hours, where she met many positive female figures in the underground music scene who would soon become some of her very best friends. Among these women was Jen Woolfe, a talented Seattle DJ, willing to take Riff-Raff under her wing. With such strong musical inspiration around her, Riff-Raff is able to create her own unique sound and style. Riff-Raff brings music to others with the excitement of a child, with mixes ranging from grimy electro beats to entrancing minimal tech. She's played various parties and clubs including Leschi Lounge, Black Rock City, No Foolin', High Five, Cherry, Lick, Hard Times, Fox Box and Vibrator.

Julia: (What’s Your Muse - whatsyourmuse.com, Planet Disco - planetdisco.tv) New records make her really happy. She’s been DJing since 1999 and raving and clubbing before that. She love’s music, and enjoys producing a tune or two every now and then. Playing pretty much every major club in Seattle and every hot queer party in town, from Hard Times to Le Freak to Cherry to everything in between she's no stranger to a good time. Rocking the hot party jams and underground bangers, she's sure to drop a beat that will move your feet.


Hey Tranny, It's Tranny! at Havana Social Club

Hey Tranny!
"Hey Tranny Who"??
Hey Tranny, It's Tranny!

"Oh I get it! You want me to go to another damn pride party on Saturday. Look, I just want to get drunk, get laid, and have a good time. Is this really something that's going to happen at this pride themed drag party/bar event"?

House of Hands and Nark Present Hey Tranny! Its Tranny! @ The Havana Social Club & Parking Lot, at Hey Tranny Its Tranny you'll get ALL the drunk, ALL the laid, and more tranny action than the back of The Stranger!

Why you ask??

Because our party is bigger, longer, and fully erect with indoor AND outdoor areas, each one boozier than the last!

With FOUR bars!! Including a champagne room full of handsome gogo boys, pretty ladies, wig-adjusting queens and bubblies! Finally! All of your favorite things combined into one VIP area! Free champagne until you can't tell whether its the alcohol poisoning or huffing the hairspray fog machine that's hitting your gag reflex. Either way you win!

Once you're legs turn to rubber you will be greeted by 100* more divas and 3 ugly drag queens**!
*Official number of divas may vary based on your level of blurred vision.
**We are not responsible for you accidentally going home with ugly drag queens based on your level of blurred vision.

CJ and The Dolls (Portland), Cjandthedolls.com

And performances by:
Your Queen of Filth: Jackie HELL!
Your Sultry Dream: Ade!
Crisco Dick: Ben DeLacreme!
Teen Dream: Stella Rose!


Featuring Outside DJ's:
DJ Res (Los Angeles, Cherry, Lick, Confessions, No Big Deal)
DJ Gameboy (Seattle, Shapes + Colours)


AND!! Your Inside Drag DJ's!!:
Anita $nak )
Modee Trajadee )


"Shiiiiiit, Drag Queen DJ's? VIP champagne room? I'm sold!”

Champagne Room:
Poshy, pampering, it's all about YOU. Free massage, facepainting, personal go-go boys,and more more more! It's like livin' in a queens dream bedroom.

ITS SO CLASSY!! and economical!!

“Did I mention the laser balloon canopy, superb audio and visual display, multi-projections, video artistry, and the Usnaps photobooth?”

Usnaps Photobooth!
Catch every clexi bitchy tacky dirty kodak moment and project it for everyone to see!! SO POSH!!

In order to avoid becoming a hot mess we will have VAIN HAIR SALON on call doing free guerrilla hair styling. Can't find them? Just look under the GIANT HAIRSPRAY SHAPED FOG MACHINE!!! Go ahead, GET THE BOUFFANT OF YOUR DREAMS!

Grab your wigs, lipsticks, eyelash glue, control tops, stilettos, clip ons and press on nails boys and girls and girlboys and boygirls and nowhere in between and fags, stags, queers, queens, kings and everything under the giant balloon rainbow!

Hey Tranny It's Tranny,
Havana Social Club AND Parking Lot
1010 East Pike Street, Seattle
SATURDAY June 26th

Tickets Available at Brownpapertickets.com
$12 Advance General Admission / ($15 Day Of)

Tickets Available here on BPT

Brought to you by the same crew who threw 500 Pine.

Tranny-Glammy beauty shots and tragic moments caught by Photographer Lauren Max and Nark Photo.

Critics agree!
"Disgusting! Offensive! Four thumbs down! You have to be drunk to put up with it! Not prideful at all! Miserable FAIL! A fail on every single level!"

SUNDAY June 27th

Qulture Qreative (Hard Times, Hot Mess) and One Degree Events have teamed up this year to bring you one hot line-up of some of the most buzzed about local talent that Seattle has to offer! This years DJ stage will be bigger, better, and more of a blowout than ever before! Don’t miss out on this power packed line up!

An all day event starting at 11am! DJ Lineup includes (in order)
Tony Burns
Bret Law
Rob Hall
Lee Decker
L.A. Kendall
Colby B
Terry Hecker
Ben Cook

All leading into the special Hard Times Stagefrom 5-7pm, closing out the day is;
DJ Skiddle

With special performances by ;

Luxury A.K., Seattle's latest "girl band", is causing quite a stir with the release of their first E.P., In The Lap Of Luxury. Comprised of 5 original tracks (produced by Action Jackson) that are sure to 'get yo ass' on the floor, school you about 'people talkin' shit', and make your 'tittie's bounce', the E.P. is quite frankly, irresistable. With mashup remixes already in circulation by C89.5's DJ Skiddle, and original remixes on the way from Q Boy(UK), these tracks will definitely be shaking up dancefloors throughout the summer. If you haven't seen their first video for the single 'Beat So Sick', directed and produced by Bad Scene Productions out of Portland, OR, you need to crawl out from that rock you've been hiding under, head to You Tube and put this sh** on blast! Trannys? Unicorns? Strippers? Mucha Lucha? These girls know how to party!

GAZM has arrived!  Seattle’s premiere Boylesque Troupe consists of the Luminous Pariah, EmpeROAR Fabulous!!!, Paris Original, and Jean du Jour. The members of GAZM originate from a spectrum of artistic backgrounds; dance, physical and musical theatre, music composition, performance art, video, and of course, the art of the tease. In September GAZM will showcase their full-length production: “World Tour”; a multi-media theatrical explosion unlike anything you have ever experienced. You can go see the same tired show… or GAZM!


Are you still with me?? I never said this would be easy, it's going to take courage you know. But at least it's almost over, and with the perfect bon voyage down at Havana Social Club, Sunday night, for Queersucker!

A special edition of the new hit Seersucker after its hit premiere last month! A beautiful mixer toss up of Capitol Hill combining guys, girls, straight and gay in one classy box. Nark disco blends up with booty shaking Sean Cee hip-hop! Dance it off. Pass out.

Havana Social Club
Free before 11pm!

Go home. (Don't forget your excuses for work on Monday, mono, death, explosive bowels)